Heavy
by Dragon Elexus
Summary: Steven just wants to protect everyone. That's a pretty heavy weight to put on a fourteen year old's shoulders- but thankfully, Connie's there to lighten the load.
**Heavy**

There are few things that put Connie in a good mood as well as a visit to the Temple.

On the other hand, there are few things able to crush her good mood as quickly as seeing Steven upset.

She arrives to find him sitting on the Warp Pad, alone. He must have just come back from a mission- his hair's a mess, he's dripping with sweat, his clothes are dirty and torn. And he looks absolutely miserable. Her cheeriness evaporates immediately.

He's in one of those moods where he won't immediately tell her what's wrong, so Connie convinces him to go for a walk while she tries to get the story out of him. A good distraction, she figures. Since she's being supportive, she also offers to carry his backpack for him.

He seems... reluctant, at the suggestion, but he doesn't stop her from picking it up. Connie finds herself taken aback when she does. Training with Rose's old sword has given her considerable upper arm strength, but she's still surprised by just how heavy the cheeseburger backpack is. "Geez," she laughs. "What have you got in here, rocks?"

Steven looks at her like he's about to burst into tears.

She opens the bag up, and inside, finds every other member of the Crystal Gems poofed.

oOo

They never do end up going for that walk.

They start by taking the gems out of the backpack, laying them across the coffee table and the kitchen counter, so they'll have plenty of space once they regenerate. By the time they've finished, Steven's crying in ernest, big snotty tears, eyes red and puffy.

Connie gets him some tissues, then wraps her arm around his waist in a hug. "They're going to be okay, Steven," she tells him. "They're going to come back, remember-"

"I- I know… It's just…" What ever he was going to say gets lost in another round of tears.

She makes him some tea. By now she knows his kitchen well enough that she doesn't need his help finding the kettle, cups, sugar. She doesn't have to ask him which kind he'd like; she already knows vanilla rooibus is his favourite.

She's desperate for answers, but she doesn't push, because she can tell Steven's going to give them to her; he's just trying to find the words. By the time the tea has seeped and the mug is in his hands, he's ready. He takes a sip, a deep breath, and says, "It was a mission. We went to this old Gem temple, out in some desert…"

It had started out ordinarily enough, it had seemed. But there had been traps in the Temple, and something had set them off. Before they had known it, the Crystal Gems were fending off simultaneous attacks from both an ancient security system and corrupted Gem monsters.

"There was this huge laser," Steven says. "It came right at us! I threw up my shield, and it held, but it kept coming– and I couldn't hold it any longer, it burst right through. Pearl pushed us away, but she got caught instead… Some monster ripped Garnet apart, like, like she was paper… It poofed Ruby, and would have _crushed_ her if Sapphire hadn't– hadn't- We headed for the control room, thinking we could manage to cut the power off, but then Amethyst got trapped by this spike thing… I almost fell into this fire pit. Lapis caught me, but there wasn't a lot of water around, so she used the water from her wings. But then she couldn't fly, so she couldn't dodge the next laser... Then there was one more monster between us and the control room. Sapphire went at it alone. She told us, 'keep going, don't worry, you will do it'- and then-

"We made it to the control room. Peridot like, plugged her fingers in. Her eyes went all weird. Then… something happened. Like all these sparks flew up and her body just… _exploded_!"

Connie frowns. "Maybe it was some sort of… Gem security program? To stop unauthorised access?"

Steven shrugs. "Dunno. Maybe. But I guess it was too slow, because there were no more lasers or spikes. Or maybe the Temple just didn't recognize me as a Gem, so it wouldn't attack me." He shrugs again, and stares into his mug. "I found the thing we went there for. Just some boring old vase. I bubbled it and sent it back to the Temple."

Connie watches her friend, concerned. "Well, that's good! You completed the mission!"

"Barely!"

"That doesn't ma-"

"Yes, it does!" He practically yells it. "My shield broke, Connie! I couldn't protect them! They were all protecting me, and I couldn't do anything to help them!"

" _Steven_."

"It's true."

"Your shield broke _one_ time."

"It's not just that."

Connie moves in closer. "What is it, then?"

Steven closes his eyes. "I couldn't find them."

"What?"

"When… when Peridot's body exploded there was just. Debris everywhere. And dust. I couldn't… I couldn't find her gem, and I thought– I thought it had exploded, too. I thought she was _dead_. I was so relieved when I finally found her. I was already carrying Pearl's and Amethyst's gems, so I knew they were fine, but Sapphire had had Ruby's and Amethyst's, and we hadn't been able to go back and look for any of them, and I was so afraid that- _that_ -"

"That you wouldn't be able to find them."

Steven nods

Connie looks him dead in the eye. "But you did," she said. "You found them, and you brought them home."

But Steven's still shaking, fear written plainly on his face.

"Dad always tells me that after a bad day," she say, "you should shower and put on new clothes. It'll help you feel better."

Steven glances at the gems lying around them. "But-"

"I'll watch them."

Steven hesitates a moment, then nods. With one last look back, he disappears around the corner to the bathroom. A few moments later, there's the sound of rushing water.

Connie watches the Gems, just like she promised. It's… a little eerie. They just lie there. Completely still, completely silent. Not like living people at all.

She's secretly relieved when Steven comes back ten minutes later, hair damp, wearing a clean set of of otherwise identical clothes. He falls heavily onto the couch besides her. They take up the vigil together.

After some time, Connie says, "I wish I'd been there. I could have helped."

"I wish you'd been there, too."

Connie smiles at him. Steven snuggles closer.

Amethyst is the first to regenerate, Ruby following only a few moments later. They find Steven and Connie curled up on together on the couch, fast asleep, using each other as pillows. The two Gems look around the living room, and all their fallen friends and family, and exchange relieved smiles.

oOoOoOo

 **Author's Note:** I posted the first part of this fic on Tumblr, and for some reason people started calling me a "monster" and telling me to "think about what I had done". Don't know why. So I decided to write up a happier ending to it. ;)

I have this headcanon that Ruby is nearly as impatient a regenerator as Amethyst, only she's a titch slower because a) she has more experience and b) she knows Sapphire takes her time, so there's no point rushing.


End file.
